Asking for help is the new black

I know what you’re thinking: you’re proud of your achievements, you’re capable of going to the next phase, you’re smart, self-secure, presentable, you have all the skills, and you’re more than qualified in your area, right? So, why would you need to ask anyone for help?
If you’re not following the train of thought above, you might be like me: “I don’t want to bother anyone with my problems”. “It’s nobodies fault that I haven’t found my way yet”. “They have more important things to do than help me reviewing my resumé for the 10th time”.”What would they think of me? Have I failed them?”. “Are they disappointed that at this stage I couldn’t do it by myself?”.

Okay, that might be more talking to myself than to anyone else, but: It’s okay asking for help. Really. It’s a liberating feeling to know that you don’t need to struggle alone with anything. You’re not supposed to know everything in the world, nor finding it out solutions out of nowhere. Nobody is watching your life with the same intensity as yourself to walk towards you and say that you’re a failure. No one is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself, just because, well, you’re right: they got better things to do.

Escaping a bit from the career side of the force, you don’t need to deal with all your issues alone either. It’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to feel late. It’s okay to be insecure or to doubt yourself on doing the right thing. You can even feel sad when things go wrong, and you don’t manage to make it work. You have the right to feel stressed, overwhelmed, do not find a way of handling stuff. We are all in a gigantic learn process that’s call life and, as my experience is totally up to me, yours as well. You might be an incredible Excel expert, capable of finding functions to everything and create the most complete and functional spreadsheets and be as insecure as kindergarten child while trying to explain your feelings to a significant other. The contrary can also be true. All of us got different abilities and talents on one side and insecurities and fears at the other. And it’s okay.

Do you remember how satisfying it is to help other people? How do you feel when anyone asks you for any help? Isn’t it magic? For me, is like giving a piece of me to a person, in the likes of sparing a time of my day to make other peoples life special, to provide them with some of my knowledge on something, or even an advice (most of them that I should follow myself! Isn’t it ironic?).

I bet that, despite all the suffering, when you finally get the nerves to ask for help, most people will feel useful, will feel that they can be offering you something, that they can improve a part of a process that might be consuming you. And they will gladly say “Yes, I can help you!” with whatever you need.

So yes, the world is big enough for you to not struggle alone with something. Don’t be a fool: asking for help is cool!

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